Sunday, April 27, 2008

Tell Me How Dominant You Are

I was talking to My girl last nite, sitting across from her in a chair, I dont know what we were talking about, I just dont quite remember. This is what I do remember her saying and this is what made Me react. she said, "I am a pretty dominant person". I flipped out a little bit ok maybe alot. The Dom hammer got dropped. It wasnt as knee jerk as it sounds, there was a fuse lit earlier. Let Me explain.

Earlier that day I was talking on the phone with My girl and this is what I heard for the first time that day, "I am a dominant person." It just rubs Me wrong to hear My /s talk about being dominant. so sue Me. I stewed on it for a little bit that day. It rubbed Me wrong not because I want My girl to be sub to everyone or anyone else but Me for that matter and not because I want her to be a dishrag or somehow weak. I love that she is smart, and capable. It rubbed Me wrong because I want her to be proud of being My /s. I want her to identify as My /s, not the worlds dom. My girls submission to Me is something I need her to embrace completely. she should not only take satisfaction in being sub to Me but she should take pride in it. I dont want her to think of herself as a dominant person to everyone but Me. I want her to think of herself as a submissive person only to Me. she is identifying wrong. her submission to Me isnt the exception... its the rule.

So the first time she said it that day it did make Me think. When combined with other clues like her reluctance to call Me Daddy or Sir outside the bedroom it is starting to feel more like she is embarrassed on some level by her submission to Me. I am feeling resistance where there should be none. So when I heard the phrase "I am dominant" for the second time that day without having heard even one Daddy or Sir all day, well I couldnt let it slide. To Me, it was no coincendence that I heard that phrase twice in one day. I took it as her "pushing back", so I had to make a point...

I stopped the conversation and told her to get on the floor on her hands and knees. she looked at Me a little panicked and asked why? I just repeated it to her. she looked at Me and she knew I was displeased and it scared her so she hesitated again. I told her a third time to get on her hands and knees on the floor and she said ok and finally did as I instructed. When she was on her hands and knees in front of Me I told her "tell Me again how dominant you are".

To Me she is the beautiful girl on her hands and knees in front of Me looking up willing to do anything to please Me. To Me she is submissive, she is My girl and I want her to take pride in it. There is no more important or difficult undertaking in her life than her submission to Me and I want her to be proud of her submission and proud of who she is.

she is not the worlds dom... she is My sub that is allowed to dom the world.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

More Daddys and Sirs

I want to hear it more. I want to be called Daddy, I want to be called Sir. I like hearing it. I find it pleasing. I dont expect to hear them in most company but there is no excuse why she cant use my titles when we are alone, or on the phone or in text. I dont mind the occasional other endearment but it starting to feel like she is not quite comfortable calling Me Daddy or calling Me Sir. she needs to get accustomed to addressing Me how I wish to be addressed. I dont think she is intentionally disobeying, I just think she is a little uncomfortable with it. That will go away through repetition. I just hope for her sake its the repetition of use and not the repetition of My belt landing on her ass, legs and back.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Fucking Back

Ok I am HORNY. Seriously, I am super horny. Its been about 3 weeks for Me because of My recent medical mishap. I dont think I have ever gone this long without release. It is absolutely true that the wind blowing just right will get Me hard... ok just the thought of wind blowing does it. Ok just the word "blow" is enough to give me a thrill. So anyhow, I have been having some pretty vivid sex dreams that are now spilling over into daytime fantasy.

This was the dream I woke up from yesterday morning. I was on top of My girl. I had her legs up on My shoulders and I was fucking her as deep and as hard as I could. she started fucking Me back. My girl will do this and it really turns Me on not just because it feels good but because the effort is overtly sexual. I see her as being very slutty for Me when she does this. By fucking back, I mean she will do things to buck her hips. fucking back doggie would be her keeping her ass up and pushing back a little as I push in. she has a few ways of fucking back when I am on top. If her legs are down she will put a foot down and lift and lower her ass off the bed/ground. Well in My dream I had her legs on My shoulders. Fucking back from this position entails her straighting her legs as much as she can and then relaxing them. this lifts her hips and lowers them back down. I really do enjoy the effort. Oops a little bit of a tangent, so back to dream...

I was on top of her with her legs up on My shoulders and she started fucking back even though I was fucking her as hard as I could. I started berrating her and calling her a nasty slut for fucking back when she was taking it so hard. I began to fuck her even harder trying to get her to freeze in pain, trying to get her to stop fucking back. Whether she slowed down stopped or continued, I would slap her across the face hard call her more names and tell her what whore she was for working so hard to please Me. I kept pounding and pounding her like that all nite in My dream.

The thing about this dream is that its a situation that has actually happened more than once. I do like to go on a tirade and humiliate her when I am hurting her and fucking her hard and she is working so hard to increase My enjoyment. The fact that this scene has come back to haunt Me in a dream at My horniest means I REALLY like this moment.

I guess if I pull it apart some I can kinda figure out what turns Me on so much about it. In the midst of using her hard for My enjoyment not regarding her pleasure or even comfort in the meantime she tries to give Me even more pleasure by fucking back. I further objectify and use her by humiliating her for the effort. Very sadistic of Me I know. I then start slapping her face which I know she finds deeply humiliating and tell her to keep trying to fuck Me back. I make her feel like a total slut for Me for trying... more humiliation. Then I fuck her harder and harder to try and get her to stop and if she does I chastise her for stopping. Wow I am even hornier now!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Where We Have Been.

So its My fault that My girl and I have been M.I.A. from the blogs this month. I have had a semi surprising and completely miserable medical issue come up. I am not going into details but to say not life threatening just really uncomfortable to the point of torturous at time over the past few weeks. I am on the mend from the trauma and gearing up to cope with some long term issues. There have been a few positives to come out of the mess of this month. The biggest positive has been how much closer together I feel it has brought Me and My girl.

I dont know exactly what I want to say... I am still sorting thru some thoughts but I feel closer to her now than I ever have before. she has been My angel. I was exposed and vulnerable and in need. she without question was there for Me in everyway.

When My strength faultered she kneeled so that I could lean on her. When I needed to find a reason, she was there with a smile and her big blue doll eyes to remind Me how good life can be. When I thought it couldnt get any worse she made Me think it wasnt so bad.

I feel as though I have shown her alot of My "weak spots" as a person lately and then the medical thing from hell happened and she saw Me maybe at My most vulnerable. I know now she accepts Me completely as her Daddy, and as her love. her feelings toward Me, and her submission to Me have not wavered but rather have only become deeper and stronger.