Control

So My girl failed to reach "0" on My new task; the "countdown". her blog has all the details. Essentially, she is given a number at the first of the month and thats how many times she must makeherself cum when not in my presence. she picks the number and then I change it as I like. I added some in january. Part of the task is also reporting to me as soon as she can that she made herself cum for Me and give Me details. I like the details.

I knew it wouldnt be easy. I knew she would have to be at least occasionally inappropiate to make it to zero. We do spend alot of time together so some would have to happen at work or some other semi public place. That is what I wanted. I am evil that way. I want to know she is somewhere touching herself for Me, working hard to make herself cum for Me. I want her to know she is being completely inappropiate but has no choice because she must obey and please Me. I want her to tell Me all about what she did for Me. I was very disappointed when she missed hitting zero.

There are some circumstances to this month that made it tougher to make it to zero but that doesnt mean she shouldnt have done what she had to do to please Me. her orgasms are for Me. she cums at My pleasure. Those orgasms were not hers to ignore but rather they were mine to enjoy. So I have set out to make sure she understands this. I have instructed her to get herself close as often as she can thru out the day. I have set her feb countdown number to 0. I have made all her orgasms conditional. I am toying with her. Bouts of denial interspersed with random chances at an orgasm all the while forcing her to get close and deny herself over and over, is not only fun for Me but I hope its also lesson learned for her.

Some of My fav chances for her so far. walk into the room and ask her how long she thinks it would take for her to cum if she started now? "2 minutes really thats all?" then I said "go!". I saw it pass the 2 minute mark but I didnt stop her I wanted her to still try as hard as she could to cum as fast as she could. I wanted to hear the begging to cum. Then I said no. It was just short of 3 minutes. so close...

I was on top of her fucking her hard a few nights ago. I decided to give her a chance to cum. I leaned into her close to her face and asked her if she wanted a chance to cum? I got a very enthusiastic yes from My girl. So I told her I would say yes if she begged permission to cum within the next 10 strokes. I counted them out loud. she made it to 7 and started begging. I said yes cum hard for Me. I felt her and saw her and heard her obey Me.

I told her I would allow her to cum if she begged but only while I was spanking her. she got up on her knees and put her ass in the air like I like for spanking. I started spanking as she touched herself. everytime she got close I spanked harder. she finally managed to overcome the pain and beg to cum. I said yes and hand spanked her extremely hard as she came.

I have also decided she should be directly punished for disobeying and not completing her new task. she is to submit a list of 3 punishments and I will decide which one she gets. If I dont feel any are adequate well there is always the belt til My arm is sore from swinging I suppose

Pent Up Dom Energy

My girl has been out of town for the past few days. she went on a weekend trip with her friends. I do miss her. she will be back tomorrow and I do plan on working out a lot of this pent up Dom energy! I will try to be gentle... ok not really but you know what I mean.

Will I tie up My girl tomorrow? Yes. Will it be spanking or hot candle wax burning? Havent decided yet. hmm maybe both. Will I make her beg Me to stop spanking and or burning her? Probably. Will I make her beg Me for permission to cum? Everytime. Will I make her beg for My cum? For sure and probably while slapping her and calling her My slut and My whore.

Do I want to see her at My feet looking up at Me adoringly? Of course. Do I want her curled in My lap or laying with her head on My chest, feeling completely safe and loved? Definately yes to both.

Do I want her submissive and obedient? Always

Why so Hard?

After fucking My girl really hard this morning she asked "Does it feel better for you when you fuck Me that hard?" I answered some smart ass Dom thing like " Of course it feels better for Me, it hurt didnt it?" So I am hung. I told My girl early on that it would be her greatest source of pleasure and her greatest source of pain. I try to make good on that statement all the time.

This morning I had her long legs up on My shoulders and I was leaning forward over her head. Her hips turned up and her pussy was completely exposed at an angle I could go very very deep. I made it hurt. I am guilty as charged. My girl makes this face when I stroke her really deep. its a face I truly crave to see. At first, everytime I stroke deep her eyes open wide and she gets this look of surprise. With each successive stroke the surprise starts to fade even though her eyes still open wide. Each stroke makes her lips tremble more. The fading surprise begins to get replaced with a pleading. I like the pleading look. Is My girl pleading for Me to continue? or is she pleading for Me to ease up? My guess is a little of each but either way she has no control over it. I will use her as I desire.

So I like to make it hurt to make her endure, I like to make it hurt sometimes just to show how deep I can go and how painful I can make it. I guess, also, the darker part of Me occasionally fucks her so hard and deep because I want to ruin her from other men. I think in a way I am marking My territory.

Testing and Exercising

I think I like to test control more than exercise control. I dont particularly like to micro-manage My girl (reserving right to micro-manage anytime I desire). Sure, I have things I care about, I have My rules, and the occasional random demand, but testing control I think is more rewarding.

Telling My girl what to wear everyday would be an exercise in control. I dont normally tell her what to wear (reserving the right to burn all clothing I dont find pleasing). Spanking My girl hard, on the other hand, is a test of control. I want to see what she will endure for Me. Endure is a big word for Me. I like to make My girl endure for My pleasure. Its easy to submit if you want to, so I enjoy making it difficult for My girl. The more she endures for Me the more submissive she is to Me. What would she be enduring by dressing in what I want her to wear everyday (with the possible exception of My bad taste)?

I often remind My girl that her body is Mine to do whatever I wish to do, whenever and wherever I desire. I make her tell Me the she will do anything for Me, she will do whatever I want. I do try to push the limits, when testing control. On the edge of the limits is where the most trust is required and displayed and where the most submission is elicited.
To Me, pushing the limits in exercising control would be intense micro-management. Everything from dressing, to setting schedule, deciding diet, when to bathe, when to talk and to whom, etc. I would guess the value in exercising control vs testing control, would be the small constant reminders of control. I dont want to push the limits in exercising control but still I think maybe I am being a little to lax in this area. Time to fix that!

Whats Behind Curtain One?

Often I will create choices for My girl rather than just forbid or insist. Dont get Me wrong, I am so not above just forbiding or insisting and sometimes that is what is required. But, I also think that the presentation of a choice can occasionally be a good idea. Sometimes instead of saying "you cant do that to the thing with the thing on it ever!" I think its better to say "sure you can do that to thing with the thing on it, but if you do this will happen."

An example:

My girl likes to playfully swat or pinch Me sometimes. I could have just outright forbidden this behavior (on the grounds you dont hit the Dom!) and punish it if I needed to. Instead I chose to tell My girl, that she could playfully swat or pinch Me, but if she did so, I would immeadately stop what we were doing and return the favor at what I consider 2x as hard. I am not a good judge of what 2x harder feels like either and I always err on the side of much much harder. I think if you ask My girl 2x as hard is prob closer to 10x as hard but hey who is complaining right? So now she has the choice, she can be a brat and accept the known consequences if she is feeling brave or she can play it safe. Either way, I feel like I win.

Another example:

A few days ago, in the afternoon, I got My girl all worked up and close and begging permission to cum. I denied her permission and told her later that night if she was good, I would consider allowing it. That night I instructed her that she could either: 1. put the nipple clamps on herself for Me and give them a few good tugs (Very scary prospect for My girl) or 2. be denied permission to orgasm for an extended period of time. Choices, choices. She chose to inflict the pain of the clamps on herself for Me. Very pleasing.


So I think its about sometimes letting My girl know the punishment, ahead of time before I have to enforce it. This creates a situation where she either does what I want or essentially volunteers for the punishment. And really... who am I to refuse a volunteer? I also think choices can occasionally create a dilemma for My girl in trying to figure out "what does Daddy really want?". Forcing My girl to think about what most pleases Me is a dilemma I can live with.

Something I Enjoy

Here is something I really enjoy. I like to have My girl cuddle up with her head in My lap just like a kitten. I know, I know, it sounds sappy but I really do like it. I see her as so submissive when she is curled up in My lap, and it gives Me a chance to make My girl feel completely safe and comfortable. I have been demanding more and more of the lap time lately and I dont see that changing.

Not Enough to Know It, I Want to See It

Yesterday My girl was very pleasing to Me. The day before last was a good one too but in an indirect way, so lets start there. I leashed her. I spent an entire day with her, not observing what I considered a sign of submission or obedience. I felt the need to give her a real reminder of submission by displaying overtly My Domhood. I did this by teathering a rope to her wrist and holding the other end. I instructed her that if she felt the rope go tight she would need permission to be excused to go any further from Me. Very Dom of Me!

I tell her that I do "pull Dom punches" with her. I am inclined to be more Dom than I display with her. I take into account who she is at all times not just who I am. I dont think this is a fault of mine I think its an asset (yes, here comes the but), but its possible that I am not being overtly Dom enough to elicit the obvious signs of submission that I require. I feel like the D/ and I know I am accepted as the D/ but maybe I dont display it enough. Maybe I need to say "Very Dom of Me more often. Conversely she is feeling like the /s, knows she is the /s but doesnt display it enough either. The very Dom voice in My head says that nothing is required of Me other than to tell her what pleases Me, but the pragmatic voice in My head insists I can do things to make the task of pleasing Me easier.

I say that was a good day because, well My Domself really enjoyed the leashing exercise and more importantly she got the message, I want overt signs of submission as often as possible, it very much pleases Me. This leads Me to yesterday and what a good girl she was for Me.

she didnt miss a rule. she deferred to Me. she tended to My needs. she was a thrill and a joy for Me all day. I am very proud of her. I noticed real effort in displaying her submission and letting Me know I was her Daddy, and nothing pleases Me more. I also spanked and spanked her which I very much enjoy. My girl has a hard time with pain so for her to endure spanking for Me is a very obvious sign of submission and yes I like to make her ass red what can I say? guilty as charged. The spanking went on a very long time and she endured and endured and eventually orgasmed for Me as I was bringing My hand hard down on her ass over and over. I had told her that cumming was the only thing that would stop the spanking. Very Dom of Me again!

So it was two good days for two different reasons. On the first day we both learned it is not enough to know it, I want to see it. And on the second day I saw it and saw it and saw it. she is My good girl.